What I Have Learned

I haven’t updated this blog in over a year. It has been a long, hard, busy year. I became the team leader for my church’s small group program, Connect Groups. This has been one of the most stretching things I have ever done. I have never felt like a failure more, and I have never felt dependent on God more.

I watched my aunt die of cancer. I saw her life become more and more restricted and painful. I waited for the end and prayed that she could be freed from her torment. I did my best to support my mother even though I often felt helpless.

I once read that suffering and pain and failure can make you bitter or better. I’ve found that suffering can either drive you further away from God or further towards Him. It would be a lie to say that running away has never been a temptation. Sometimes it seems like my life would be a lot better if I was a little more selfish, if I gave in to all the things the world says I deserve.

But that isn’t what I have chosen. I’ve needed to daily remind myself that I have chosen to follow wherever Christ leads me.

The title of this site comes from one of my favorite quotes from Oswald Chambers: “Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading.” If there is anything I have learned in this long, hard, busy year, it is that this is more true than I have ever imagined.